So, a lot has been happening to say the least :-) Eventful times and I can't say they've been very much fun until today. I'll try to be brief...
Here's Asher while sleeping.
And here is Asher while he is awake.
Breast feeding took a severe decline the past few days.
After Thursday night, Asher decided that he didn't really want to latch on and he'd rather just nurse for about 10 minutes and maybe only on one side. It started out just being in the evening, where he would sleep a lot and not wake up but then it went on into the day where he would just be crying and screaming. He wouldn't feed and each day was being filled with more crying, less sleeping and WAY less feeding.
Mark and I were at a loss. We had no clue what to do. We called our doula who willingly came over ridiculously early in the morning on Saturday and was also unable to get him to feed. She gave us a few suggestions (which we tried) but his feedings continued to decline. I tried to pump and feed him with a syringe but Mark and I were so emotionally and physically frayed by this time that I couldn't even get 1/2 oz out. We were beginning to dislike our new baby and that was simply not acceptable.
We know breast feeding is the healthiest way to go, but when you spend all your child's awake time trying to force him either to eat or to stop crying, then spend maybe the next 2 hours worrying about what to do if he won't nurse this next feeding... well, you can see how things got bad fast. Asher was honestly crying for 1.5 hours to get maybe 10-20 minutes of food in... we don't think he was even getting more than 1 oz. at best.
They say that when you feel angry with your baby, put him down and leave the room but we couldn't very well leave him there to starve... we had to try something. We talked it over and decided to try some formula. He took at least 2 oz. very quickly and went on to sleep about 3.5 hours. He fed again at 2-3.5 hour intervals and woke up happy, okay, maybe a bit cranky from hunger, but always fulfilled afterwards. It was amazing to see how quickly everything changed.
Mark and I finally feel like we can do this... and enjoy it at the same time! Asher isn't screaming (partly b/c he has no voice from screaming for endless hours for days before) and we're glad we made the choice we did. I wasn't recovering very well, being so stressed and trying to get this feeding thing taken care of. I couldn't eat or drink hardly anything, which meant I couldn't take my ibuprofen and was in serious pain by the end of the day. Not to mention dehydrated, throwing up and feeling incredibly feverish. And I've never seen Mark look so sad. But today was so different... man, it feels great to be a parent!
We wish we could breast feed, but we know it's more important to make sure we are the parents God desires of us... to nurture this person He's given us and to teach Asher His ways. Formula feeding will be irrelevant compared to what God wills for his life... God can overcome anything. Why He's let things play out this way... who knows? But we are both so glad that we feel capable of this task and we are so thankful to God for giving us a way to do this.
As usual, thanks to everyone who's been supporting us. The meals, coffee, friendship and prayer has all been much needed and incredibly wonderful! We love you all and can't wait until I'm up to being out and about to show Asher off to all of you!
March 16, 2008 at 5:55 PM
Parenting is rough sometimes, isn't it. I can understand how disappointed you must feel not to be able to nurse as well as you would have liked, but formula has served many a child well :). You are not harming him in any way. Keep up the good work and get the rest you all need.
Becca